


Thresh knight of awkward slam poetry

by Garnetsgrin



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Minor Terezi Pyrope/Dave Strider, Rap, Rap Battles, Sick fires, Xeno
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-03
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2017-12-17 14:59:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/868850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Garnetsgrin/pseuds/Garnetsgrin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He never noticed he did it, in the shower he sang and slammed poetry to the beat of the water on his skin, on his own he chatted with him self about anything, commenting on his life as a spectator. His own voice blended into the background of his day to day to the point where silence scared him, but he knew it was odd. Dave Strider brought with him noise and a sense of comfort Karkat lost long ago and three years is a long time to try to hold back a security habit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Silence isn't golden

**Author's Note:**

> This got way out of hand.

He never noticed he did it, in the shower he sang and slammed poetry to the beat of the water on his skin, on his own he chatted with him self about anything, commenting on his life as a spectator. His own voice blended into the background of his day to day to the point where silence scared him. Words went with breath and silence meant that he was alone, so he spoke and found camaraderie in himself. His lusus never complained, scarce in the hive to begin with and with its appearance Karkat was distracted anyway, so no one told him this was odd.  
  
He knew it was, of course, but he always brushed it aside, he was the only one around to hear his habit so there was no problem. Those were the words that comforted him whenever the topic crossed his mind and he was content to leave it at that.  
  
Of course there was a problem. When the game started his mind was on other things, there were people to worry about and lead, there was a goal to reach and a reward to be had, he was to busy for a security habit. There was always noise too. Twelve trolls, a death sentence, and a life time supply of drama assured there was hardly a quiet moment, he wasn't alone, he began to think the the problem was gone.  
  
As time ticked down and teammates died, noises became unsettling, soft honking left him sleepless and muffled laughter sat him on edge, every sound and sudden silence told of death. He resorted to singing himself to sleep in the safety of his clothing pile, the cloth muffled his voice from the world, and the world from him. In dreams he felt soft beats wrap him up in deep voices.  
  
___  
  
When the humans came things got less scary, they brought with them a sense of calm that Karkat lost long ago, soft noises didn't send him on edge, humming and laughing from the others didn't put him into high alert, but the silence still lingered.  
  
With less people on the meteor and no threat of death hanging immediately over there heads, silence graced the meteors halls much more often, And the feeling of being utterly alone settles almost permanently in Karkats' gut.  
  
Dave started mixing and Karkat was drawn to it. After many failed attempts, one broken Alchemiter, a temper tantrum, and a resigned trip to a dreamed up version of his old apartment, Dave had finally gotten his hands on a new set of turn tables and was using them to their full potential.  
  
Karkat and the rest of the meteors patrons, along with a generous portion of paradox space, had to suffer through weeks of over enthusiastic gushing and bragging over the god forsaken things from one Dave Strider, and Karkat had developed a unholy level of disdain for the machine. That is, until he heard he the first beats in the silence.  
  
It felt a lot like coming home, like stepping through a door you'd been thinking about all day and rolling up in a pile with someone loved. He took to sitting outside Striders' door and listening to him mix.  
  
He propped himself up by the door with his knees to his chest just listened, hearing the muttered curses, the sudden stops when he messed up, the hums and soft 'yes' when he got something right the first time was almost better then the completed work. The way he could just see the pleased grin on Dave's face when he succeeded, how he could imagine it falling into a satisfied smirk as he continued brought a smile to his own face and made him feel warm in a way that was to sentimental for him to acknowledge.  
  
He always made himself scarce before Dave left his respite-block, but he had a feeling that he knew he was there anyway.


	2. Throw down some sick ass fires

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rap and feelings never mesh well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay I promise it wont happen again
> 
> Huge thanks to dampposts.tumblr.com for writing Karkats Rap seeing as I cant through down beats to save my life.

Movies did nothing for him anymore, alone in dark rooms watching the gray faces of long dead adults and overused troops with cliched twists got him restless; he couldn't sit through even his favorites anymore. Programs on his screen were dulled and fuzzy to his eyes, lines of gibberish that accomplished nothing but sending him into fits of un amusing rage and forcing him to re-alchemize the same computer four times. He was bored, And he missed his friends.

Karkat and most of the group of remaining meteor goers had recently acknowledged one full sweep having past on they're trip to the new session and had made a half assed attempt at celebration. For the first time in half as much spent on the meteor almost everyone had converged into one room for something other than mobbing on the occasion Kanaya had gotten handsy with some tools in the kitchen and resulted in the best grub cake anyone of them had ever tasted, but this was different. 

Together everyone popped excessive amounts of popcorn, looted every pile and soft thing the dead rock had to offer, and took turns messing hopelessly with the alchemiter until they had a pile of movies of both human and troll variety that they didn't have before. Then as everyone found there place in the rather impressive blanket fort, constructed with pride by Terezi and Dave while being overseen by one the Mayor, Karkat had slipped in the first of what would be a very long marathon of action, romcoms, comedy, and a bad human rip off of the Rainbow Drinker series 'Day break'.

Admittedly it was nice, Kanaya sat between Dave and Terezi to keep things from getting awkward in light of there recent break up. Karkat took place next to Dave and the situation quickly devolved into snarky commentary between the two for the entirety of the marathon, in the end Karkat agreed that Sharknado was with out a doubt the best cinematic masterpiece humanity had to offer, and reaffirmed his opinion the John Egbert had horrible taste in actors and that Cage was a talent-less hack.

But now he was bored, it had been one week since the celebration and one week since he's had any one but himself for company. Kicking away from his crabtop Karkat briefly considered searching for Kanaya, but quickly discarded the idea, last time he did that he walked in on something that left everyone involved uncomfortable and him with mental scaring. With a sigh Karkat lifted himself from his pile and cracked his neck.

“Fuck it, sitting here stewing in my own pathetic self pity while fondling my horns like a grubby fisted hatchling to Troll Mcconaugheys' admittedly kind of talented face is a waste of my valuable time. I'm going for a walk and maybe I'll slip in something interesting and bash my head onto something preferably rusted and sharp.”

He wandered out of his respite block, and was greeted with cold air and grey walls, he sighed and ventured farther. 

“What nookwiff designed these fucking laboratories? Seriously did the motherfucker get awards for dark, dank, and scary? Was put up on goddamn pedestal for his outstanding work of making the set dressing to a horror flick? 'Mister carapace we are eternally grateful for all the stupendous fucking work on our facilities, they are now perfectly suited to hide the murder happy Juggaloo Messiah, and just enough nooks and crannies to stash godforsaken treasure chests until the utterbeasts find there way home from the goddamn slaughter house for that we thank you.'”

His monologue was followed by soft honking from a place he couldn't pin point, and he had a feeling his ex wasn't amused by the blasphemous stab at his 'new calling'. The troll walked a little faster.

He fell into a rhythm walking aimlessly through the halls taking every turn available, humming a tune he could recall from a distant memory and swaying to the forming beat. It felt like hours had past and before he realized it, his feet had taken him to a familiar door, and a familiar sound pounded behind it. 

Dave had been working on this piece for awhile, couple weeks at least, and Karkat had been there from the beginning. Last he was here Dave was cursing audibly at his turntables and the troll was mostly sure he had thrown something, but now things seemed to be going well, the beats flowed together smooth and strong and it went right to Karkats core, changing his internal rhythm and pumping through his veins.

He took his place in front of the door and listened, letting himself fall into a comforting form of stasis as the music and the rhythm lulled and bounced in his mind. Time stood still for him as he basked in the victory of the pieces completion, even if that victory wasn't his. The progression flowed and the beat took on a melancholy tone, Karkat followed in its spiral and felt himself sink down into sorrow. 

It didn't have lyrics, the blonde hadn't gotten that far yet, but Karkat had words burning through his mind like fire and they came out without warning.

“For far too long I've been floating here  
suspended in space with no way to steer  
falling without suspense  
lacking outside influence  
fuck  
how does the silence drive me to miss the fear

And at long last we've got it quiet  
but its wrong  
we last too long without the white  
noise, the beat of battle  
the clash of moments  
and opponents  
and our friends' death rattle

I've been alone on the meteor  
I need some texture, something that's just meatier  
a beat that's beatier  
something better than the shit I hear  
in all of the talk  
something witter  
grittier

It's been awhile  
since I cut the chatter  
but it comes up like bile  
and I wonder why I quit  
and the pound of the quiet  
beats me down hit by hit  
wears me out bit by bit

so I lie prone on the meteor  
but I found company in this drifting beat I hear  
it pulled me out  
like the bard from his vents  
captivated by the presence of the sound  
why'd it lead me here?”

Silence fell almost abruptly as the words faded from his mouth, red rolling in small streams along his cheeks and chin. His throat felt thick. “Fuck.” The word spit too loud in his ear and echoed too long, but the panic was settling in like a beast and the sudden silence was tearing at his skin. “Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck.”

On shaking legs Karkat stood and staggered down the metal hall, trying helplessly to stop his tears, but this was to much.

On the other side of the door Dave stood at his turn tables shocked still until the soft sound of too light footsteps faded. Then his mind went into overdrive everything and nothing jumbled and racing through his head.

He tried to calm himself, slowly moving his hands off the mixers and stepping back. Calm down. He needed to calm down.

Slowly, as if time decided on its own that he needed a little break, he fell back squarely on his bed and tried not to think.


	3. Feelings and what to do with them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave wonders at how feelings work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry I'm taking so long, I'm a slow writer.

Dim red lights flickered and reflected against the chemicals as dark hands worked blindly. It blanketed everything in an eerie sense of stasis and Dave took comfort in his self made world. Carefully, slowly, he worked, treating photo after photo, immersing himself in captures of time and memory, painstakingly preserving every forgotten hour, the stench of chemicals grounded him, and he worked. 

He found himself almost losing track of the time he spent in the makeshift darkroom, losing himself so completely, the numbers seemed to float away, still visible and bright against his mind but lower, not as loud. He didn't mind them as much as he used to, didn't keep himself awake sweating and screaming for it to stop. He let the ticking become his rhythm and he danced to it. Photos were scattered around him, faces coming into focus in liquid and painting scenes of color. The happiness of the meteor saved and cataloged before it could all dissipate back into grey. It was rare to find beauty on the meteor, all empty metal halls and echoing black sound, but Dave found all he could.

Bubbles blowing past in every color and shape in the void, the look of contentment on Terezi's face as she took in the smells they left behind.

Art scribbled on the walls in chalk and blood, and the Mayor's pride in his metropolis.

The elegance in the tapestry and designs Kanaya spreads throughout the living area, and the concentration in Rose's eyes and she poured over a Alternian novel.

Karkat, as he laughs for the first time in Dave’s memory at the movie night a few days back. Karkat as he passionately defends the idea of caliginous romance to Rose, who believes no one can love someone they want to hurt. Karkat as frowns at a stray bike horn. Karkat.

Memories of the troll consume him, all black and red and ever present in his thoughts. Dave's brow knit together and his hands moved a little rougher, at little faster. The stench of the chemicals burned his nose and he ignored it, he ignored it and everything until the last photo came into beautiful focus.

Karkat sleeping on Kanaya’s fabric, brows barely knit and lips parted, he looked almost peaceful. He stared at the photo for what seemed like an eternity, taking in every detail and categorizing in his mind every curve and dip of the trolls face.

Since last night Dave has done nothing but run from Karkat, he has done everything in his power to dispel the boy from his mind, but the thoughts always returned. Sighing Dave cracked his joints and loosened his tense muscles; heading out of the dark room he slipped on his shades as the dim light of his room assaulted him. Again, in surrender, he sighed, it was time to confront this.

Karkat was, special, to say the least, whether or not it was a in a good way Dave couldn't be sure, but the troll definitely had something about him that was unique. Karkat lived and breathed frustration, it was like he took the world onto his shoulders without anyone asking him to and tried to carry it while fighting his own battles as well. He was selfless, and caring, he would take a sword to the chest for anyone he cared about and would fight tirelessly for what he thought was best for the group. Dave stared at the ceiling content to listen to the ticking in his head while he delved into the abyss that was his feelings, snorting at the absurdity of his own thoughts.

While Karkat may lay his life down for his comrades, it didn't stop him from being rude, he never hesitated to knock sense into anyone he saw being stupid, he would yell, and cuss, and preach to whoever he thought needed it. He would dig into their deepest insecurities and rile them up until they too had the passion and rage to rise from their slump. He was ruthless, in leadership and in battle. Dave flushed when he thought back to all the strife's they've had on the roof of the lab they have been stuck in for all these years. The struggle and the sweat that came time after time, the clash of metal and passion as they were always matched, blow for blow; Dave had never seen anyone so skilled other then his own brother. The thoughts that Dave usually avoided and ignored swelled in his mind at the memories; the admiration, the jealousy, the camaraderie, the burning in his chest at the site of Karkat heaving with exhaustion and determination.

Dave blinked back to reality and the gravity of his feelings fell on him slowly, like he had slowed down time without thinking, and was watching as Armageddon descended upon his mind.

He liked Karkat Vantas; and he liked him a lot.

Rising from his bed he strode over to his turntables. His hands hovered over the dials and he remembered Karkats voice humming through the doorway; the beat began and he grinned.


	4. Bubbles Blow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone needs a moirail

It's cold. The swirling black void around him seemed to zap away any heat his body had, vanishing it until nothing remained but his own thoughts and the sound of his teeth colliding with one another. The dots of color floating ten feet and a thousand years away made constellations that he traced in his mind, taking comfort in the makeshift stars. He sat on the roof of the meteor for what seemed like hours, chill raising his flesh and releasing his anxiety through hushed breaths.

Old habits and old comforts fell from his lips as he let go of everything, confronting fears and feelings locked away since the world fell and he lost his shriveled hope.

The words were easy, bottled and repressed they burst through with passion, it was nothing to the revelation of the subject of his flow.

I'm done Kill me now  
I've lowered my crown  
And walked away from my high castle  
Stripped myself of my gold tassels  
I am humbled and weary  
This life has grown deary  
And my mind is all but gone  
Wrong  
He say my name in song  
Though the words are not of love  
Or pride  
But of my lost stride  
And if I hide I'm shamed  
He once praised my name  
But it seems time to let go  
There is no foe that I ever want to face  
Stay with me here cuz I'm done running this race  
I've been shackled and left here to die  
Or fly straight into the sun  
So many mistakes left half undone  
Though I must admit  
With him I'm glad that I exist  
And my memory will live on  
Strong  
In his heart in his chest  
And I'm fine with the rest  
So long as long as he is my friend

Silence followed the shaky words and weight seemed heavy on his shoulders, he was alone and confused, he needed someone to talk to, someone to take his feeling and untangle them into neat stings of thought for him to understand; but Gamzee wasn't here, and never would be, and the other person, the one he watched from afar as there relationship got more and more distant, his crush only growing more persistent with every glance, every brush on hands as they passed by, well he didn't think they would be there for him either. Not now; not yet. He had resigned himself to self loathing, watching the bubbles float by and taking in the jumbled worlds created in each one, wondering absently who created them; who's memories were being broadcast into paradox space for all to see and experience. He waited for nothing and lost himself in mumbled words and shaking shoulders.

The minutes turned to hours as he waited on the roof top of the meteor, alone with his thoughts, though jumbled and painful, Karkat found himself reveling in the silence; for once appreciating what it meant to be completely alone, even from himself. The bubbles float by brought the slightest echoing sound of existence with each one, ghosts talking, fighting, living out of a rebellious need to fight paradox space and the destiny it had for them. The whispers of memories drifted Karkat down into slumber, and he joined his friends in the colorful void.


	5. In which Dave has more time to think about Karkat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave has got it bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember kids, consent is important don't test that shit.
> 
> Sorry I'm so sporadic, but I can't promise it will change

Walking the dark halls of the meteor felt nostalgic at this point, the tall ceilings and dim lighting brought with it something close to comfort, as he breathed in the empty air he thought of family; something he's never really considered to have had before. Lost in himself, he wandered deeper into the bowels of the laboratory, further away from the commons and the designated sleeping areas. He had just started to wonder where he was, when, as if burned, he jerked still.

He wasn't alone; noise bounced easily off the metal walls, each sound resounding, sharp and metallic against his senses, the vents shook above his head; he scowled and returned to his swift pace. While every step took him farther from the noise it was unmistakable; honks tangled up in growling purrs drew his frown deeper into his face. He huffed. He had loved Terezi, and the ache in his chest told him his still did, deeply; but Dave didn't think that there would ever come a day when he could forgive her for what she had done. He wasn't one for quadrants in even normal circumstances, the thought of the person he loved having another just didn't appeal to him, but Terezi had taken it a step farther and done so behind his back; only confronting him after she had been caught.

Speeding up his strides, he slowed time to a stop and ran from the noise; that wasn't what he needed to be thinking about right now. 

Turning a corner once, twice, he slowed his movements to a shaking stumble, releasing his grip on time and the clock inside his head click on once again. Dave had found himself at the foot of one of the many vast staircases of the lab, they climbed endlessly above his head, spiraling and twisting to odd angles as the ascended, sighing he started on his way. Time ticked away as he took the winding steps, his surroundings becoming more and more familiar as he continued; he knew now where he was headed.

He reached the rusted door to the rooftop with relief, the artificial air outside the lab was cold and refreshing, bringing to his skin a welcome pain that cleared his mind. Bubbles of every color and size blew past him as he strode toward the edge, intent on purging his feelings through pointless, mindless training that would leave him breathless and numb. But his eyes caught onto a shape at the far edge of the roof top, shifting slightly as it shivered at the intense cold. Karkat.

For a moment Dave considered turning away, he wanted nothing more than to run from the other; back to his room where he could throw himself into distraction and keep himself from confronting what he already knew; but what was the point of running when thoughts of the troll followed him into oblivion. He started toward the sleeping figure. 

Karkat's face was not soft when he slept, there was no trace of relaxation or ease, he slept as if he were fighting, battling horrorterrors and guilt that would otherwise consume him. Dave's heart did something he couldn't quite understand; sinking and soaring and pounding bruises into his ribs, he found he didn't mind the pain. Sitting next to Karkat, Dave laid himself back parallel to the sleeping body and pillowed his head in his arms. He sighed.

The thin fabric of his pajamas did almost nothing to block the cold, and the longer he lay, motionless and tense, the more the brisk artificial air sank deep into his bones; clearing away all thought and distraction. He knew he liked Karkat, but that didn't mean he knew what to do about it; sitting next to the boy all Dave could think about was how strong he looked. Karkat was built like a tank, all square and hard muscle, but here and there were rounder soft edges that seemed inviting, Dave considered for a moment how it would be like to be held by the other, he would be completely consumed in the troll and that thought was appealing to say the least. He considered briefly, the idea of leaning over and kissing him, black lips parted and soft would feel amazing against his own, but he dismissed it outright. If he was going to kiss Karkat anytime soon he would first need consent.

Sighing again, Dave closed his eyes, removing his almost ever present shades. He rubbed his face and groaned as the thought of Karkat's lips flooding his mind. Fuck.

Another shift next to him caught his attention, Karkat mumbled and cursed under his breath; his face tensing more than before and Dave sat up. He watched for a second as Karkat struggled with his nightmares, red spilling from closed eyes and teeth bared in an alien snarl, but he couldn't handle that for long. Dave knelt and placed both hands on Karkat's arm, shaking him roughly.

“Karkat, hey, come on wake up.” Karkat's eyes fluttered under his lids before bursting open viciously; but Dave was long gone.

From behind the roof door Dave shivered at the downright murderous look on Karkat's face, he decided firmly that he would never wake up a troll again, letting go of his grip on time he started down the steps.

He needed a shower and time to think up a game plan.


	6. BONUS Chapter 5 1/2: Aforementioned Shower time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which this fic finally lives up to it's rating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't get me confused with a saint.

Steam rose slowly as heat pounded onto dark skin that rose and shuddered under the pressure. A scarred hand was braced unsteadily against the shower wall and Dave forced his voice down, only allowing a low moan to fall gracelessly out of his mouth. His jaw slack, he panted roughly as he thought of black lips and sharp white fangs that gleamed dangerous but inviting as they snarled. He fisted his dick in his hand faster; harder.

Karkat, took his place on his knees in Dave's mind; eyes shut tight, the human focused on the fantasy and the pleasure coursing through him. Large grey hands ran along his thighs and he shuddered at the touch of Karkat's claws as they trailled up brown skin; to light to break through but still bringing a twinge of pain that had Dave groaning.

Hands found Dave's cock and pumped steadily, once, twice, before returning to the boy's hips as Karkat drew closer. Wordlessly Karkat lulled his tongue across the base of Dave's dick, the slick muscle trailing up to the tip and back again, sending racks of pleasure through his lover's spine. Karkat leaned back a bit to kiss languidly at the tip and hands fell harshly into his slick hair, Dave's blunt nails dug deliciously into the base of his horns. Time swirled and slowed around them both and Karkat looked up at his matesprit as his mouth was guided to where Dave wanted it. Immediately Karkat wrapped his lips around his fangs careful not to harm the other as he sunk down onto the length. His tongue swirled and twisted against Dave when it reached the back of his throat. With a long drawn out sigh Dave relaxed into the feeling, careful not to jerk his hips he waited for Karkat to adjust and focused all he could on not cumming then and there.

After a moment Karkat tentatively swallowed around Dave, gripping tight at those thin hips to keep him steady, Dave almost doubled over. Karkat swallowed again and purred in such an alien way that had Dave's breath hitching and his hips stuttering forward. Instead of stopping them, Karkat relaxed his throat and let go of Dave; moving instead to run his grey hand over the shaking one still clenched in his hair. Their eyes met briefly and Karkat nodded as best he could to give Dave permission; Dave moaned obscenely and started his hips slowly.

Lowering his hand to the back Karkat's neck for leverage, Dave kept the other still as he pushed himself deeper into Karkat's throat, the troll swallowing and purring as Dave moved. After a while Dave stuttered in his rhythm and mumbled out as much of a warning to Karkat as he could. Karkat pulled himself off the other and fisted the cock roughly, slyly he looked up at his flushed partner.

“I love you, Dave.” 

Fuck.

Back to reality Dave slumped heavily to the tiled floor and cum was washed unceremoniously down the shower drain. His tilted his head against the far wall and sighed, running his clean hand through his hair.

So much for coming up with a game plan.


	7. Pale like sugar

Darkness swirled through his mind, no real pictures or noise, but feeling that sunk into the core of his mind and stayed there like a beast. He tossed and turned and thrashed at the feeling, fighting it with his all as it told of death, and pain, and loss. He was drowning and he didn't think he would survive, guilt washed over him and he struggled, selfishly wanting to live. Wanting to continue on when all his teammates died; because of him. He was beginning to give in, to relax into the pain and allow the punishment to consume him when red flooded his senses.

Deep base and rhythm pounded at the darkness; beating it down into a corner of his mind he couldn't see, still there, lurking. Someone called his name. 

Karkat

Karkat jolted. Shooting up into the sitting position eyes wild and angry; the instinctual rage upon awakening not foreign to him. He thought he saw a flash of red off to the side and followed it; but only the door to the rooftop was there. He watched it for a good while, like it would bite him, before he turned back to the void and forcibly calmed himself. His cheeks were sticky and he realized he had been crying, he made no move to wipe them away.

He sat there for what seemed like an eternity, recalling his dream and the guilt it started from. Fresh tears found themselves rolling down his face. He scowled.The movement of rusted metal sounded along the roof top as the door opened behind him. He didn't look to see who it was; he wanted nothing more than to be left to misery. 

The soft breath of heat, of caring, blissfully broke the suffocating chill brought on by years of torment, disgust, and fear. Still on the edge of the roof top he took in the light brought by the steady hand on his shoulder, the bubbles in the air gleam against her glow and she took her place next to him; by his side.

They sit in silence for a long time, no move to comfort, no hand to wipe away the red tears on his face, just gentle presence and patience for Karkat to decide for himself; does he want this?  
A clawed hand dull and gray lands softly on white still ever present on his shoulder, dark eyes turned and took in her ethereal beauty, and slightly older jade eyes stared back; ready.

“Alright let's get this monstrosity on the road and get our sorry asses started on this disgustingly sweet, tear filled journey to the land of jams and stress ulcers."

"I thought you would never ask. What seems to be such a problem that you would stop beating the poor proverbial bush with me?" He smiled, for a moment, and leaned against her. Hesitant at first, but her presence relaxed him, it was so easy to be with her, so easy to let everything go.

"God where do I begin? Oh right, Strider-" Her hand moved around him and she turned to pull him to her chest, humming softly for him to continue. “You know how this asshole got that damnable machine a few months back? Well he hasn't stopped messing with them since, anyone within forty feet of his respite block is dragged into his trial and error 'jam sessions', the fuck of it is though, he's really good? And I've kinda taken to sitting outside the door and listening and while that's all fine and good. If not a little creepy I admit-”

Kanaya chuckles and Karkat huffed.

“But recently I've come to the breaking point with my habit-”

“Talking to yourself?”

“Yeah. And I kind of, well, oh fuck me, I kind of let all this shit out right outside his door? Like I vented everything I've been holding back right there loud enough for him to hear, I fucking slammed it no less. I don't actually know if he heard but fuck it hurt, it still hurts and I don't know why? I mean it was some heavy fucking feelings I laid out but it was the fact that it was to him that really hit me.” Karkat finally wrapped his arms around Kanaya waist and settled in, she patted his head and silently urged him to continue.

“I just, I didn't know it until now but, I respect him, and I don't want him thinking I'm some pathetic, sniffling grub who creeps outside his friend's doors regularly.”

Kanaya huffed a laugh at that. “Well that last part is true.” Karkat glared up at her, squinting at her fluorescence; she dims herself slightly still smiling. “Though really I understand why the situation would be unsettling, having someone other than your moirail hear such revealing emotions is hard to deal with.” Her smile fades slightly. “Even with Rose it's hard for me to easily express deeper feelings. I find myself pretending to be in my best mood at all times to keep her from trying to console me.” She sighs and Karkat feels his heart plummet. 

Fuck.

“Kanaya-” She stops him pecking his forehead gently.

“There is time for my feelings later and I promise I was content to wait for you.” She pecked him again on the lips and pulled him closer. “For now lets focus on the task at hand, then we can talk about where we stand and maybe get to my side of the feelings jam; maybe we can actually move inside and to a pile too.” Karkat eyed her but backed down, he knew she would let him know if her problems needed to be addressed immediately, he just wished he hadn't been such a coward about their relationship, he should've been there for her. 

Karkat sighed a little, not wanting to talk any more about his situation, but continued all the same. “I just don't know what to do, or why I'm feeling so upset about everything. I'm confused and fuck maybe even a bit happy? Under everything I just, feel so fond for him, I'm so distracted by him all the time it's infuriating.”

Kanaya looks at Karkat for a long time, considering her words. “Karkat” She pauses. “Do you have red feelings for Dave? "

He sighed and shuffled in Kanaya's arms. “Yeah. I have for awhile too but damn if I didn't ignore it. At first I thought it was pitch even, but that delusion didn't last long, especially after he broke up with Terezi and started spending more time with me, without her being the focus of conversation all the goddamn time.” 

Kanaya hummed thoughfully and shifted her legs under her. “What do you plan to do with this information?” She prompted.

“I don't even know, what are you supposed to do when you like a human who doesn't even see you on his romantic radar?” He scowls. “Aparently cry about it to the Moirail you've been neglecting for sweeps. Fuck I'm so sorry, I shouldn't of had my head shoved so firmly up my ass.”

Kanaya smiled again and lifted his chin up to face her. “Karkat it's okay, I understand. You needed to sort things out yourself, you needed space. What kind of potential moirail would I be if I didn't give that to you?” Karkat smiled and dropped the subject. For now.

“As for Dave.” Kanaya started after a moment, stirring them both from thought. “I can't tell you what to do about your feelings, but how do you know he's not interested?”

“Come on, it's kind of obvious, I'm not appealing in the sightest, and he's not exactly screaming from the roof tops that he's human gay, he dated Terezi didn't he?” Kanaya snorted, but papped him lightly on the cheek.

“Stop that this instant Karkat, you are very charming when you wish to be, and as for Dave not being 'Human Gay'” She air quotes. Karkat takes time to find that adorable. “Rose has assured me there are more sexualities than just straight and gay.” Karkat raised a brow.

“Human's can apparently be just as fluid as we are, he could be interested in both genders so don't count yourself short.” He huffs at that.

“Doesn't mean he is interested.” He scoffs.

“Doesn't mean he isn't.” She returns. He laughs.

Comfortable silence settles over the two of them for a long time, just breathing and enjoying the life of the other. Karkat drifted off back to sleep as Kanaya stroked his hair, absently humming to keep real silence from haunting her pale mates mind. She knew that it would help keep away the terrors.

\---

Karkat awoke, not remembering when he fell asleep, the sound of pleasant song drifted into his mind and he smiled; Kanaya. Why did he ever wait so long for this? He laid there for a few moments longer, enjoying the sound and the peace that came with it, before shifting, and startling her from her song.

“I guess good night wouldn't be the most accurate thing to say considering there is no day or night here.” Karkat smiled at her and snuggled into her stomach, then shifted up to sit next to her and watching her stretch out.

“How long was I out?” He asked, moving to stand and reaching a hand out to help right her up as well.

“About two hours I believe. We should probably get back to the others, I kind of promised Dave and Rose that I would make more grub cake and I'm sure you would like some as well.” 

Karkat almost drooled at the thought.

“Oh hell fucking yes.”


	8. Beats bring people together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Play it again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry I'm so slow.

Life moved slowly, time, still a steady beat in his head, seemed to leave him behind as he worked; forcing away thought as he threw himself into his task. Chemicals stung him nose and his fingers burned pleasantly, Dave found himself enjoying developing his photos much more now that he wasn't running. Thoughtless ease washed over his mind as he treated each slip of film, bringing to life his memories and showing them in vibrant color to paradox space; stark contrast to the misery it harbors. Dave moved slowly as he worked letting habit fuel his motions and taking time to relax his mind. 

One, two, one, two, one.

The beat of seconds lulled through the air and Dave found himself humming absently to it, bass pounded in behind his eyes and melody spiraled down into his core; music bright and persistent built up inside him. His mind blinked back into clarity, and he quickly cleaned up his work and rushed to his tables as ideas flew in and out of his head at rapid speed. The machine clicked and whirred as it stuttered to life and a beat began, he twisted, scratched and fumbled his way into a song that felt like heaven to his ears, bringing to mind orange and a bright floating joy that made him feel like he was flying; and it took a moment to realize that he was. When making music time usually set the rhythm to his flow, constant and never changing it became his staple, but this time it seemed as though time had finally, finally, slipped away, and he was free to discover a new beat to this new song.

For once he didn't know how long he spent at his tables, tweaking and perfecting this new piece, playing it back, again and again, finding another thing he loved with each repeat; it was euphoric. Thick, loud thumping invaded his space, shattering his illusion into broken black glass that fell slowly around his feet in his mind, the ticking accompanying his horror. Anger ran like a beast up Dave's spine, and again the thumping rang through his room, rapidly, and aggressively, someone knocked at his door. 

Slowly, Dave stalked to the door, anger flushing his face and hands shaking; he was ready to rip whoever this was to fucking shreds.

A towering form, slouching to his height, scowl ever present on thick black lips, ebbed the flow of rage in Dave; replacing it instead with something akin to excitement. Karkat stood with his arms crossed over his chest, a large, insanely large, sweater wrinkling at the center, skewing the worn symbol. The troll looked at Dave for a few seconds of silence before huffing sarcastically.

"Well you egregious oversight? Are you going to let me in are we going to spend the rest of the night staring passionately into each others eyes?" He seemed timid, which was almost too cute to handle on Dave's part.

"Don't let me stop you I guess." Dave stepped aside to let the larger teen inside.

Karkat stood in the center on the small room awkwardly, he seemed unsure of himself as Dave stalked back over to his turn tables and put his headphones back on, he left on ear uncovered to listen to whatever Karkat had to say. Which apparently was nothing, as the new song looped again and again through his head phones, Karkat stood silent, shifting his feet nervously.

Eventually the tension in the room grew to the point where Dave took the initiative, sliding of his head phones and pausing the beat.

"So Karkat...wanna hear my new song?" Karkat's eyes blew wide for a moment, before he smiled and nodded.

Dave moved over and unplugged the headphones as Karkat to his place next to him. The beat began, slow and steady, and Karkat closed his eyes as Dave watched him, studying his reaction for some sort of approval. At the end the song faded into nothing and Dave stopped the track, the troll was silent for a moment before open his eyes and staring at Dave for what seemed like an eternity; Dave felt his heart skip.

"Play it again."

Dave obliged.  
-  
Dave and Karkat listened to the song three times in silence, Karkat examining and picking apart each note, Dave watching anxiously for Karkat's reactions. At the end of the third play through, Karkat stopped the loop; he reached out to the turntables without a word, and Dave instinctively wanted to stop him from touching, but held back and let Karkat play the song again, this time with his hands on the controls.

Karkat tweaked and turned the music, while Dave stood back and listened, the music went from orange and light, to red and flowy, the sudden jumps he didn't know were there smoothed out and the song danced more gracefully through the air. As Karkat molded and perfected his music, Dave found his heart following the progression up, up, up until he was flying again, hovering in the air, and grinning. Karkat turned as the song ended again, to ask what Dave thought, but stopped when he saw Dave.

Karkat paused at the dumbstruck look on the others face, before smiling himself. "Well fuck, ground control to major dumbass, are you going to be alright or am I going to have to stop making music to save you from the humiliation of falling in love with me like a thirteen year old fanboy?"

Dave took a second to smile at Karkat sincerely, before chuckling. "Don't get me wrong, you're fucking fantastic, but I don't think I'm going to cover my walls in poster of your face just yet." Dave walked forward and stood next to Karkat again. "And I don't think were done here, you better not run off without helping me finish this?" It came out as a question, Dave's blush showing lightly on dark skin.

"Of course not, I wont let you mess this up now that I've put effort into it." Karkat bumped into Dave gently as he put his hands on the table beside the human's.

\---

After that day, Karkat and Dave spent hours fiddling with the alchemiter to produce a smaller portable version of Dave's turntables, taking to sitting in the commons room and messing with beats and melodies together for days at a time, engrossed in making something together. Kanaya and Rose took to sitting beside the two while they worked, chatting and giving input when they could. 

Kanaya pulled Karkat aside one night and dragged him to her room when he and Dave were finished mixing.

"I'm glad to see you've connected." She smiled as they settled into a pile, the first time they've really done so, Karkat felt content in ways he never knew possible as Kanaya nestled between his legs, her head only coming up to his neck.

"Were not dating yet or anything, so don't through a goddamn party." Karkat wrapped his arms around her middle and rested his chin on her head.

"You said 'yet' Karkat." Kanaya smiled teasingly.

Karkat flushed darkly and tightened his grip slightly. "Whatever. We aren't talking about that today though...it's time for me to be there for you." He leaned his head over to give her a quick kiss one the cheek.

Kanaya sighed, and grew somber. "Well.. alright." She twisted in his grasp to look at him. "Where do I begin?"

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and critiques are encouraged


End file.
